Imaginary Conversationsβ¦with Gossipers
Gossip.
Itβs been a topic lately in a few circles Iβm a part of and itβs one I really havenβt dealt with much since high school to be honest. Possibly since I tend to pull away from those who participate in being so negative towards others, because it is so soul-draining β turning people into clanging symbols and distortions of once beautiful artwork.
Because I am studying counseling and love brain-nerd science, here are some accessible factiods for you to carry with you throughout this read.
Gossip physically alters the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala while also triggering the stress responses. [L]
Just hearing about social transgressions, or problems and negative gossip, will light up the prefrontal cortex which is responsible for your ability to navigate social interactions, make sound moral judgements, and evaluate someoneβs character or reputation. [L]
Gossip can trigger stress, anxiety, guilt, a weird sense of power, and complicate your self-image. [L]
When your fight-or-flight response system is over-activated consistently you can lose the ability to accurately detect threat or categorize allies versus adversaries. [L]
Now that you know the physical warning signs God placed within you to help you stop this habit and behavior, letβs keep going.
This morning I find myself praying for people in my life who are taken over by gossip, arrogance, and pride β praying they find compassion, understanding, and empathy towards others. In Psalm 5, David laments to the Lord and cries out for help. He lays his requests before the Lord and then does something we often forget to do.
He Waits.
He doesnβt just wait.
He waits EXPECTANTLY.
David knows God will answer. He doesnβt know how God will do it or what the response will look or sound like, but there is a confidence his prayers are heard and noticed. He is confident that the righteous will be blessed.
David knows that his responsibility is to maintain his integrity by laying his request to the Lord and waiting. Itβs not taking that situation into his own hands and forcing the outcome.
So many times in prayer, we are looking for direction and the next step. βGod here my request and my prayer, tell me what to do.β Most of us cringe when God says, βWait.β
In biblical Hebrew, the word is Qavah (Χ§ΦΈΧΦΈΧ), which means to wait with eager anticipation or to entwine like a rope. Can you imagine waiting and entwining with God in prayer, in trust, in faith β when it feels like we are taking no tangible action?
Entwine means to twist, wind, or weave two or more things together. [1]
Literal Meaning: [2]
Physical twisting: Wrapping flexible objects around each other, such as vines growing up a fence.
Interlocking parts: Joining things closely, such as holding hands with your fingers entwined.
I walk around all day long and have these imaginary conversations with people about what I would say if I had the chance to say the most perfect thing and then what they would say in return. Of course, I always come out on top! But, God hates arrogance and in this imaginary situation I see a lot arrogance in my thoughts. Can you relate?
Psalm 5 reminds us that God will deal with those who are arrogant, who lie, who are deceitful, untrustworthy, malicious, and rebellious. My job β and yours β is to maintain integrity as much as humanly possible in our actions and our thoughts. We take our concerns, hurts, worries, and fears to the Lord and entwine our presence with His to wait expectantly for Him to lay out the plan and let us know if we are included in the plan or not. To remain flexible in our plans and expectations, because when we become rigid, it breeds contempt, frustration, and impatience.
Sometimes He wants our help in solving these situations and sometimes He will use others. Our βjobβ is to trust His sovereignty in knowing what is best in that circumstance for those involved.
When I come back to think about these βgossipersβ or people who outwardly think that are better than the people around them β to be honest I donβt know that I could handle that conversation without adding shame or blame in the present moment. So, I am going to entwine myself to God, model Christ-like behavior the best I can, pray for them, and hope they see a healthier way of behaving and being in a relationship with those around them.
Entwine.
Model.
Pray.
Hope.
